I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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