I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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