What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
