i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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