Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
