you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
