No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
