Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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