kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
