Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just threw up on my dentist
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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