So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
