i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize