one two three fourrrrnication!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.