so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.