at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
