watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
