He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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