I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
