NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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