from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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