i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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