Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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