Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
