Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have surprise drugs for everyone
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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