Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
