I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
