Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
