I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
