Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
