didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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