why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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