I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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