Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
