in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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