I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
