can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
