You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
time to smoke my breakfast
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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