it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
