herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
