It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Boobs speak an international language.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
