my mouth tastes like poor choices
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
