Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
