TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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