just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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