I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize