i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I came so hard my ears popped.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
