Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he thought i was a dude.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
