I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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