She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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