He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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