At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
