How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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