Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
