you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
