his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
