We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
