I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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