Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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