all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
