So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
