For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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