Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
