I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
