I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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