i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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