with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
