One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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